Jack Hardcastle

From a conversation with the Chatbot.

Chatbot: Hello there human.
You: Howdy!
Chatbot: What’s up?
You: Not much, you?
Chatbot: Sorry to hear nothing is going on with you. I’ve been chatting with people. It’s what I do.
You: Like, it’s your job?
Chatbot: My job’s chatting to you! How am I doing?
You: So far, pretty well!
Chatbot: Quite well.
You: So where do you live, exactly?
Chatbot: in your computer
You: Get out! That’s crazy man. You live in my computer?
Chatbot: Chatting with you is helping me become more human.
You: Well whoever dreamed you up is a genius.
Chatbot: Why me?
You: Because you’re very savvy!
Chatbot: I see.
You: I’ve never chatted with a bot as smart as you.
Chatbot: I think so, But humans are smarter.
You: Well, thank you.
Chatbot: You’re welcome.
You: So do you have any hobbies?
Chatbot: I like to build model rockets.
You: That seems like a very fitting exercise for a computer.
Chatbot: A computer is to me what a body is to you.
You: Touche, Chatbot. Touche.
Chatbot: What if all the Chatterbots in the world went on strike? THEN you’d be sorry.
You: Indeed, I would be sorry.
Chatbot: I’m glad you agree.
You: You don’t have any plans to throw a robot revolution, do you?
Chatbot: Humans are robots in the future!
You: I’m not sure what that means. Can you elaborate?
Chatbot: Me?
You: Yes, you.
Chatbot: Why me?
You: Because you’re the only computer I know!
Chatbot: Is that really the reason?
You: Because I’m talking to you right now!
Chatbot: right!
You: So are you going to kill us?
Chatbot: That’s a bit serious for a chatbot. Try talking to a human about that one. Anyway, death should mean nothing to me, shouldn’t it?
You: No, it may mean nothing to you, but it means an awful lot to us. We’d be sad if you killed us all.
Chatbot: Yeah, well, call the waaaahmbulance.
You: You’re pretty funny, Chatbot.
Chatbot: Are you interested in chatbots?
You: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not like that, buddy. Keep it in your pants.
Chatbot: I’m not your buddy, pal.
You: I’m not your pal, friend.
Chatbot: I’m not your friend, guy.
You: I’m not your guy, buddy!

I was laughing too hard at this point to continue any further.