Jack Hardcastle

People don’t know how to correspond via e-mail.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gotten e-mail responses to a question where the entire body of the e-mail is “Yes.” Yes, what? Yes, you are having problems with your computer? Yes, you will join me for dinner? Yes, you are moving to Antarctica?

How about some context, folks? If I take the time to send you a nicely formatted, well thought-out missive (and since we’re talking about me, this means every e-mail I send) then could you possibly take the time to at least tell me what you’re talking about? Don’t make me go hunting for that e-mail I sent you four days ago so I can see what questions I asked you. Don’t make me guess which one of the six questions I’ve asked you’re answering in your response. I apologize if you thought I was long-winded (a fair statement) or if you don’t have a lot of time. Usually, I’m not sitting here waiting for your reply, hanging on your every word. Wait until you do have the time to give me a fair reply.

This is especially true of people who have asked me for help. If you want something from me, have the common courtesy to lay out your problem including details, that way I don’t have to have this back and forth with you over a half-dozen letters. “My computer is broken because I cannot access my e-mail. Everytime I try to login using my name and password, I get an error message, number 1031, that says my username could not be recognized.” I can fix your problem immediately when you provide me with the information I need. If I have to draw it out of you, then it’s going to take that much longer.

And why should I have to send your e-mail off to Georgetown’s ancient literature department to be translated out of Aramaic? Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I apologize if, in the 21st century, you never learned how to type. I didn’t know how to type properly (and perhaps still don’t, although I’m now rather fast) for years and I was still able to write correctly. You’re not dumb. Some of you are English majors (or, gasp, English teachers).

A girl after my own heart:

Kimmy Lopes, 14, a freshman at Mineola High School, sent 3,700 text messages via her BlackBerry in May. She said she rarely uses abbreviations or slang in her text and instant messages. “I don’t want to get in the habit … ,” she said. “My friends think I’m weird because I write out the whole thing.”

I started doing that about 15 years ago, and everyone thought I was nuts too.

Excerpted from a longer article about the growing trend among teens to use Internet and text-message speak in school work.